in NYT's corrections tomorrow:
An article on June 20 about Marty Siegel, 7-Eleven aficionado and admitted virgin, was incorrectly titled. It should have read "For a Fan, an Obsession with 7-Eleven, 24/7; Depression, Misery, Self-Loathing, Can't Get a Date"
I don't know... maybe I'm too harsh. Just, like, I just wish everyone could just be nice to each other. And everyone should just, like, love life and do what they want to do. You know? Be you. Why do I have to hate? It's just, you know, like, my daddy was never there and I hate myself and I make fun of people to compensate for my shortcomings. And I wish I could stop! I wish I could. It's just the only way I ever feel good about myself.
Nevermind, I re-read the article and that guy is definitely a virgin.
A related idea: everyone around the world should agree to stop using the word "fuck" and in its stead use the word "dork", as they are synonyms meaning "to have sex." Wouldn't that be hilarious? Because "fuck" is considered such a dirty bad word, and "dork" is, like, completely unoffending. ha ha ha ha. And then eventually parents and prudes would catch on and it would be THE D-word, and the F-word would be meaningless, over time completely erased from the English language.
ha ha ha ha.
I'm so stupid, that wasn't even funny. Every kid at one point learns what "dork" really means and thinks it's funny that everyone calls each other a word meaning "to have sex" and no one thinks it's dirty. The English language and its curse words are so fucked up.
But I'm still posting this, I hate myself. You know, that 7/11 guy is probably a really happy person.
Today I read an article about Johnny Depp in my parents' Newsweek (umm.... yeah... maybe one percent more respectable than People?). I'll just say that I didn't inherit my tastes and interests from my parents and move on. Some quotes:
"Maybe it's just in America, but it seems that if you're passionate about something, it freaks people out. You're considered bizarre or eccentric. To me, it just means you know who you are."
-Tim Burton
"If I was going to do something, it had to be on my terms - not because I'm some hideous control freak - but because I don't want to live a lie. You really don't want to look back on your life and go, 'I was a complete fraud'."
-Johnny Depp
These men speak the truth. Be yourself.
Just don't be this guy.
(Or, be him, and people like me with hideously scarred souls as black as a black crayon (really black, jet black, darker than a black shirt or sweater, especially if they're cotton, because cotton fades. i hate cotton sweaters) will mercilessly make fun of you and feel no guilt whatsoever.)
I don't know... maybe I'm too harsh. Just, like, I just wish everyone could just be nice to each other. And everyone should just, like, love life and do what they want to do. You know? Be you. Why do I have to hate? It's just, you know, like, my daddy was never there and I hate myself and I make fun of people to compensate for my shortcomings. And I wish I could stop! I wish I could. It's just the only way I ever feel good about myself.
Nevermind, I re-read the article and that guy is definitely a virgin.
A related idea: everyone around the world should agree to stop using the word "fuck" and in its stead use the word "dork", as they are synonyms meaning "to have sex." Wouldn't that be hilarious? Because "fuck" is considered such a dirty bad word, and "dork" is, like, completely unoffending. ha ha ha ha. And then eventually parents and prudes would catch on and it would be THE D-word, and the F-word would be meaningless, over time completely erased from the English language.
ha ha ha ha.
I'm so stupid, that wasn't even funny. Every kid at one point learns what "dork" really means and thinks it's funny that everyone calls each other a word meaning "to have sex" and no one thinks it's dirty. The English language and its curse words are so fucked up.
But I'm still posting this, I hate myself. You know, that 7/11 guy is probably a really happy person.
Today I read an article about Johnny Depp in my parents' Newsweek (umm.... yeah... maybe one percent more respectable than People?). I'll just say that I didn't inherit my tastes and interests from my parents and move on. Some quotes:
"Maybe it's just in America, but it seems that if you're passionate about something, it freaks people out. You're considered bizarre or eccentric. To me, it just means you know who you are."
-Tim Burton
"If I was going to do something, it had to be on my terms - not because I'm some hideous control freak - but because I don't want to live a lie. You really don't want to look back on your life and go, 'I was a complete fraud'."
-Johnny Depp
These men speak the truth. Be yourself.
Just don't be this guy.
(Or, be him, and people like me with hideously scarred souls as black as a black crayon (really black, jet black, darker than a black shirt or sweater, especially if they're cotton, because cotton fades. i hate cotton sweaters) will mercilessly make fun of you and feel no guilt whatsoever.)
posted by lauren at 9:56 PM
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