just a few things
First, and most importantly, Amy Sedaris has several upcoming television appearances. Her interviews are always highly entertaining and I hope I remember to watch. I usually don't :(
june 21: Letterman
june 28: Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson
july 10: The Colbert Report
(Amy's official unofficial fan site can always be counted on for the latest Amy news.)
2) I just downloaded Firefox.
I am an idiot. I CANNOT BELIEVE that I waited this long to look into it. I've been web-browsing with Firefox for less than half an hour and I already have everything organized and it's so fast and soooooo easy. I had no idea life could be like this.
3) I peed in a cup yesterday!
Always exciting. I had nothing to worry about - I'm not doing anything fun these days. Before I went in, I imagined handing the person the cup with poop in it. That made me laugh. A lot. A lot more than it should have, which is not at all.
But no, I didn't poop in the cup, and I was really glad I didn't when the lady who "administered the test" was surprisingly nice. I took the test at the offices of the staffing agency from hell. The secretary had said something to me about this lady being weird when I did my working interview last week. I thought she seemed nice. Quiet. (Which I can relate to, as I'm not comfortable being my joking self around people who talk to each other in baby talk and think it's funny. No seriously. Two of the others did that while I was there.) So after I got my pee on and handed the lady the cup, we shared this exchange:
Her: Have you.. done any crack cocaine recently?
Me: No.
Her: No amphetamines?
Me: No medication at all actually.
Her: Didn't smoke a doobie?
Me: Nope.
Her: Not even any crystal meth?
Me: Not even.
Her: No opiates?
Me: No. And I usually would, so it was really good timing.
I wasn't listening all that carefully, so I don't remember the first couple of questions she asked. I thought she was asking standard questions and just said no, and then after I told her I'd not even taken any medication, I realized she'd said amphetamines. And I realized she was joking with me. I was caught completely off guard. I can't remember the last time I joked with a stranger out here. Nodding and fake-laughing at the jokes old men always wanted to tell me when I worked as a supermarket checker... doesn't count.
It was a small thing that brightened my day.
I start my job Monday at 9 am. Now that I've finally found a full time job, my plans to move seem very real. It's a nice feeling, but now I'm nervous because I have so much to do between now and then. I have a stack of books I bought and never read, piles of old crap to go through, and probably 50 items that need to be ebayed and listing is SO MUCH WORK. But it's work toward moving, so... onward.
june 21: Letterman
june 28: Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson
july 10: The Colbert Report
(Amy's official unofficial fan site can always be counted on for the latest Amy news.)
2) I just downloaded Firefox.
I am an idiot. I CANNOT BELIEVE that I waited this long to look into it. I've been web-browsing with Firefox for less than half an hour and I already have everything organized and it's so fast and soooooo easy. I had no idea life could be like this.
3) I peed in a cup yesterday!
Always exciting. I had nothing to worry about - I'm not doing anything fun these days. Before I went in, I imagined handing the person the cup with poop in it. That made me laugh. A lot. A lot more than it should have, which is not at all.
But no, I didn't poop in the cup, and I was really glad I didn't when the lady who "administered the test" was surprisingly nice. I took the test at the offices of the staffing agency from hell. The secretary had said something to me about this lady being weird when I did my working interview last week. I thought she seemed nice. Quiet. (Which I can relate to, as I'm not comfortable being my joking self around people who talk to each other in baby talk and think it's funny. No seriously. Two of the others did that while I was there.) So after I got my pee on and handed the lady the cup, we shared this exchange:
Her: Have you.. done any crack cocaine recently?
Me: No.
Her: No amphetamines?
Me: No medication at all actually.
Her: Didn't smoke a doobie?
Me: Nope.
Her: Not even any crystal meth?
Me: Not even.
Her: No opiates?
Me: No. And I usually would, so it was really good timing.
I wasn't listening all that carefully, so I don't remember the first couple of questions she asked. I thought she was asking standard questions and just said no, and then after I told her I'd not even taken any medication, I realized she'd said amphetamines. And I realized she was joking with me. I was caught completely off guard. I can't remember the last time I joked with a stranger out here. Nodding and fake-laughing at the jokes old men always wanted to tell me when I worked as a supermarket checker... doesn't count.
It was a small thing that brightened my day.
I start my job Monday at 9 am. Now that I've finally found a full time job, my plans to move seem very real. It's a nice feeling, but now I'm nervous because I have so much to do between now and then. I have a stack of books I bought and never read, piles of old crap to go through, and probably 50 items that need to be ebayed and listing is SO MUCH WORK. But it's work toward moving, so... onward.
posted by lauren at 12:26 AM
3 Comments:
this blog is so funny!
you must be easily amused.
or you're making fun of me and my lameness.
and on the off chance that it is neither of the above and you actually meant that, well, shucks... thank you.
No, really, that was a funny post. Also, you reminded me of the Sedaris appearance on Letterman.
When the lady said "smoked a doobie" I would have made a joke about how I do not smoke marijuana, but that I did shoot one of the Doobie brother's nephews... over a drug deal gone awry. See, always bring it back to square one... always.
Damnit I love unexpectedly joking with cool strangers. I'm going to keep doing it vicariously through your blog, if you would be so kind as to transcribe every single conversation you have each day.
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