the upside: medicare!

I have been out sick, had a nasty case of the syph, it was really touch-and-go there for a while, but I'm BACK! Yes, it is true! What a relief for you!

First, a story I could only today finally put down on paper....

On Saturday I did something shameful. I slept until 3:45 IN THE FUCKING PM!

I win! Booyah! Take THAT! Uh-huh, uh-huh, who's your daddy now, bitch?

Your father? His name is Richard? Oh.

Okay okay I'm not ashamed, I just said that because that's what you're supposed to say when you almost sleep until dinner time. But I am loud and proud and, and.... just get used to it!

I did some cool-down stretches after my marathon sleep session and promptly danced a celebratory jig into the bathroom to clean and groom myself, and that's when I found it.

IT.

My first gray hair.

And it's not even gray.

Nor is it grey.

It is WHITE. White. And it looks like a dog hair. I am not a canine! I assure you! I am a people! This is allll homo sapien right here.

I pulled it out, take a look (hairs do not photograph well):



As one might expect, I began to look deep inside... me... and asking me some tough questions. What am I doing with my life? Nothing. What have I done?? Nothing. What did I do today? Sleep? What do I want to do with my life?

This is the last thing I need right now. You see, I am turning 22 in... some short period of time. October 2nd. I don't know how to read calendars, so you can look that one up. (I can't read, period.) Again, that is October 2nd.

I am getting old. One foot in the grave, I tell ya. (October 2nd. I realllly don't want to celebrate this one, facing my own mortality as I am, but I guess I'll accept your gifts anyway. October 2nd.)

Oh yes. So, what do I want to do with my life?

Honestly? Sleep. I want to do exactly what I did last Saturday: spend the day in my bed. My big, soft, comfortable, luxuuuuuuurious bed.






october 2nd