New Years Resolutions
As everyone in the know knows, this is the true first day of the new year*. So...
This New Year, beginning the fifth day of April, year two thousand and seven, I resolve to:
1. Shut. the. fuck. up. Just stop talking. To other people. To the cat. To the television. To myself. To the little man who lives in my thumb. STOP. Only good can come of this. Speaking unfailingly leads only to embarassment at my own expense.
2. Bring back the blog! This post is step one.
3. Get in touch with m....
Fuck it. #1 is impossible and #2 is all that really matters. Spirituality? Fitness? Nay, blogging will enrich my life and entertain literally tens of people more than anything else I could do in 2007. So lets get fucking down to it. I've had plenty of things to blog about since I moved to New York those months ago. And I have written some of them down. Not written down many more. Written a few on the bathroom walls of bars I could not locate again if my life depended on it. But I am lazy and committed to failure in every thing I try, so I needed to take just one good five month break before I could get back to the blog for real.
Here's what's gonna happen: I'm going to post blog entries which I should have posted as I thought of them (how novel) with the original date as the subject line. You will first experience denial (this isn't happening to me!), then anger (why is this happening to me?), bargaining (I promise I'll be a better person if...), depression (I don't care anymore) and acceptance (I'm ready for whatever comes).
You see, I will eventually make you a fan of this dime-a-dozen mediocre blog. Okay?
*Believe it or not, this is a LIE I told to mask the fact that I'm just now getting to the blogging resolution. I am shocked that you weren't onto me. You are a moron.
This New Year, beginning the fifth day of April, year two thousand and seven, I resolve to:
1. Shut. the. fuck. up. Just stop talking. To other people. To the cat. To the television. To myself. To the little man who lives in my thumb. STOP. Only good can come of this. Speaking unfailingly leads only to embarassment at my own expense.
2. Bring back the blog! This post is step one.
3. Get in touch with m....
Fuck it. #1 is impossible and #2 is all that really matters. Spirituality? Fitness? Nay, blogging will enrich my life and entertain literally tens of people more than anything else I could do in 2007. So lets get fucking down to it. I've had plenty of things to blog about since I moved to New York those months ago. And I have written some of them down. Not written down many more. Written a few on the bathroom walls of bars I could not locate again if my life depended on it. But I am lazy and committed to failure in every thing I try, so I needed to take just one good five month break before I could get back to the blog for real.
Here's what's gonna happen: I'm going to post blog entries which I should have posted as I thought of them (how novel) with the original date as the subject line. You will first experience denial (this isn't happening to me!), then anger (why is this happening to me?), bargaining (I promise I'll be a better person if...), depression (I don't care anymore) and acceptance (I'm ready for whatever comes).
You see, I will eventually make you a fan of this dime-a-dozen mediocre blog. Okay?
*Believe it or not, this is a LIE I told to mask the fact that I'm just now getting to the blogging resolution. I am shocked that you weren't onto me. You are a moron.
posted by lauren at 11:31 PM
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