totally going to bust a cap in someone's ass or grill or something

There is something very wrong with this picture. Can you tell me what doesn't fit?

Fine I'll tell you. It's Saturday morning. 10:20. And I'm writing a blog.

I SHOULD NOT BE WRITING I SHOULD BE FUCKING SLEEPING.

Do you want to know why I am not sleeping? It's because I moved to Bushwick, East Williamsburg, whatever you want to call it. I live just west of the ass crack of Brooklyn. And it smells pretty fucking bad here next to the anus.

So my neighbors are enjoying their favorite game, the one in which Lauren gets no sleep and they inch thismuchcloser to death at the hands of a tired and angry me.

It works something like this: one player stomps on the floor with steel boots. Not steel-toed boots. Steel fucking boots. Second player dribbles a basketball with one hand and drops an anvil on the floor every two minutes with the other. Third player throws bricks at the wall (the wall that is my bedroom on the other side). You can add as many players as you'd like, it's truly a family game.

Now there is a lull, but I know that at the precise moment I begin to drift off, the neighbors will finish their grilled babies 'n blood snack break and resume their activities.

Because I live next to the ass crack.