oh, apple, the things you do to me

Behold the sizzling stunning beauty that is the Apple MacBook.

There is literally nothing I wouldn't do for one of these. Literally. Nothing. Seriously... anyone out there got a MacBook? Anything I can do for you? Anything??

The model I need in my life is just $1299.00. In most areas better than my current PC, and in a couple not quite as good. I have 2.4GHz right now, $1299 gets you 2.0. It would get me better graphics, better display, better MB and better pretty. Same hard drive, 60GB, and I only use 30-something right now.

Did you look at it? Did you LOOK?!? I don't think you looked long enough. Here, look again:



Oh, Mac, I have such plans for you.....

We would go to the park, and we'd take turns pushing each other on the swings. And we'd go down the slide together. And we would laugh heartily.

We'd spend lazy Saturday afternoons in a coffee shop, sipping lattes and quietly reading the newspaper. You'd read the business and sports pages, because you're a manly man, while I read the arts section and the obituaries. And then you'd read the funnies to me in silly voices, because you can also be such a goof!

And maybe, Mac, if you're a very good boy, I'll make us a fancy dinner sometime. We will eat by candlelight, and after hours of laughing and talking we'll realize we went through two bottles of wine! And then you'll give me a foot massage, and then I'll give you a blow job, and then we'll make love on the sheepskin rug in front the fire. And I won't go into any more details here since I know how closely you like to guard your privacy.

Oh, Mac, don't you want to come live with me? So I can type and play games on you, and look at pictures and watch videos on you, and talk to people through you since you have a FREAKIN CAMERA ON YOUR FACE!

The Apple MacBook?

I think it might be love.